babyboomerette

Live as if you'll die today . . .

A friend reminded of an inspiring and poignant quote the other day -

              DREAM AS IF YOU"LL LIVE FOREVER,

                                  LIVE AS IF YOU'LL DIE TODAY.

It was James Dean who said it.  He was a tremendously gifted actor who died in his twenties after three stellar performances (East of Eden, Giant, Rebel Without A Cause.)  The day he died he was living up to his own words - driving his roadster to a race, having finished shooting Giant earlier that week. (The crash wasn't his fault, another driver ran a stop sign at an intersection.)

This morning I'm thinking about his words.  I'm pretty good at identifying and meeting my dreams head on.  I go through periods of time when I'm not sure what they are, but to me that just means I'm content and don't want something more or different.

The second part of his words is what intrigues me more.  I mean, what would it really be like if I knew that the end of this day, August 21, 2009 would be the end of my life (here on earth anyway.) 

Better yet, how about not just At The End Of This Day, a perfect movie scene, with me staring up at the sunset (fade out to evening star above me) but just any old time during this day? 

For instance, I take Beatty-who-appears-to-be-a-dog-but-actually-is-The-Zen-Master-of-Love out for a walk this morning across the desert and a rattlesnake decides to become my close personal friend.  Or my car and I become the close personal friends of a bus full of tourists barreling down the Highway to their next rest stop.  You get the picture.

What would it really, really, really be like if we knew this was our last week, day, hour on this plane of existence? Yes, I am about the 45,000,375th person to wonder about this, but stay with me here.

Everything about "life as we know it" would go all instantly topsy turvy, as though we were looking through a fun house mirror.   And we might have NO idea what the heck was coming, where we'd end up - or if there would be an end to be up in - but all of a sudden we would deeply deeply know what we had and just how much we had.

We would tell our heads to SHUT UP, I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS CRAP and listen to our hearts (Us -"Yikes! What I do now???"  Heart - "Well. Who do you want to make sure knows you love them? Then let's get one of those chocolate croissants!")

Our true sight would be miraculously restored.  We'd be able to see, fully again, all the exquisite beauty around us.  The grass in our own backyard might be mostly brown but we would notice the small patch as green and shiny as an emerald over near the water hydrant.

Finally, finnnnaalllllly, since all the small stuff, the ridiculously selfish stuff, had already ceased to exist, we'd stop sweating it.

Some of us might jump on a plane to Paris or run down to the beach for a last look at the ocean, but more of us would hop on a plane to Seattle or Morristown to see the sister we'd stopped speaking to years ago.

And all of us would absolutely stop in our tracks and take a long look into the eyes of anyone we cared for, and be completely present to what they were trying to tell us. We'd memorize the sound of their voices.

There's so much more that you'd do, that I'd do - or just do very differently than "usual." But here's the bottom line, because our time here was almost UP, we would be more fully ALIVE than we had ever been before.

So. Why would we wait another day - or hour - to live as if this was our last one?

 

Jimmy Dean's roadster was bright red and shiny and he was laughing, they say, when the other car went through the stop sign.

No, I did not run away to the circus . . .

First I ran away - or rather went very willingly to Italy in May and June- remember how I was telling y'all I was going to Italy?  Well, I did and well, it was wonderful!  More about that in the next entry or two.

Then I returned home in June and "went straight to the dogs," or rather became chairwoman of the board of the Humane Society of Moab Valley. (Y'all should all google the site immediately and donate!) That has been and continues to be a much longer journey.

And during and/or after all these adventures I procrastinated about getting back to this blog.  Infact I procrastinated so dang long that it would have been embarrassing to finally return to all two and one half of the peeps who used to be my audience, if I hadn't given up being embarrassed at this stage of my life.

But this morning as I was following the sage advice of Elizabeth Gilbert (the Eatin' and Prayin' and Lovin' one) and writing down The Three Things That I Really Really Want Today - why, what do you think? One of the things I really really wanted was to finally bridge the gianormous gap that makes up the train of thought that constitutes what used to be anyway, this blog and say Hi to Y'all.  Actually, let's be real about it, Hi to Myself, 'cause by this time, the store has been closed for so long that anyone who might have wandered in to check out its wares is long gone.

But hey!  The store that is my brain's train of thought is once again open for business and you just never know - someone who is perhaps googling for . . . say, Babyboomerette Bras (the new collection at Victoria and Her Mama's Secret) or something similar just might stumble across this puppy and read it! 

So . . . I AM back to talk at you - and better yet, hear back from you . . .

                              Italian Tales NEXT ENTRY!!

And in the meantime, I will assure y'all that Miss Elizabeth Gilbert is perfectly right. 

It is indeed a good thing to whip out a piece of paper every morning of your life and -  ASK YOURSELF - What ARE the three things I really, really (really) want right now?   If you don't think about it much but just let your heart do the answering - I can guarantee you some very interesting surprises . . . then you can go about the beautiful business of Getting or Creating or Capturing whatever your heart desires.

How long has it been since you've gone out to capture your heart's desire?

   

A funny thing happened on the way to the Forum . . .

Okay.  I am SO dating myself with that reference to an aged, but very funny play from back in the 60's.  But I simply can't resist it Because the funny thing happening on the way to the Forum is ME!!

I am taking me to Italy in May!!!!!!!

It all began a couple of weeks ago when I decided I'd like to find a writer's retreat to attend this summer and found one . . . in a small town outside Orvieto, Italy.  I was entranced with the idea of writing in the mornings and wandering around the olive fields or grape vineyards or whatever in the afternoons.  Plus it was a really cheap deal.  I thought I might be able to work in a day or two in Rome or Florence if I was lucky.

At this point in the story I have to give the credit to Honey-Bunny, my husband, who asked me what was it, the writing part or the Italy part that I was more excited by?  I put down my glass of Chianti and in a moment of sheer enlightenment said, "Italy!"  Then, he countered, why didn't I just skip the retreat and go to Italy, only really go it; to Rome which he has no interest in visiting; to Florence and Sienna where he's been already; to wherever else I could get to in a couple of weeks.

Now that he's retired and we're on a fixed income I forced myself to utter, in the service of adult responsibility, a series of "Really?  Really-we-can-afford-it? You're sure we can?"  "Go for it," he said.  And yes, yes, he is wonderful, incredibly supportive, etc etc etc as you are all thinking. 

He's also departing on a three month hike on the Pacific Crest Trail for much of this summer (I too am wonderful, incredibly supportive, etc etc etc) which is the reason I am embarking on this adventure alone.

Actually, because I'm doing it alone my sense of excitement and pleasure is quadrupled!  This trip, the longest I've ever taken in another country solo, now feels like a sort of lovely coming-of-age-at-the-age-of-60 extra special adventure. "Elizabeth's Excellent Adventure!"  OR "Elizabeth's Excellent INventure!" As in INventing a newer, souped up version of myself who is undaunted by toddling around Italy by myself, gazing open mouthed at the Sistine Chapter, the Coliseum, the-you-name-it, while bravely mangling my second favorite (first is French of course) language.

There is much, much more to say to you about all of this and believe me I will, but for now - Ciao Bellas! I CANNOT believe I am doing this!!!

Oh yes I can. 

Si! I can.

Glory, Glory Hallelujah . . .

There were few dry eyes in the nation (for anyone who truly cares about America) on Tuesday when our 44th President took office.  It wasn't just because he is our first African-American president - though this is something we can all be proud of.  It was because of all this bright, hopeful, principled man represents - he represents the BEST in all of us.

President Obama (how lovely to write those words) calls to each of us to create our own world, contribute in our own way to building a better country.  He assigns responsibility on himself, and rightfully, on us, as to what the outcome of the current situation - economically, politically, spiritually - will be for America.

He's been president a little over 48 hours and hit the ground running.  After dancing all night with the most elegant first lady since Jackie (one who's already up to much more than redecorating the White House), he got into the Oval Office and began his day by making phone calls to Israel and Palestine, then announced the toughest lobbyist restrictions in history, before going on to about a dozen other things.

Today he gave the order to close the doors of one of America's most shameful sites, Guantanamo.

Tomorrow, who knows?  Already it's a challenge keeping up with The O Man. 

I love that.

This is another of those times when my heart is too full to say anything more, except repeat what someone from North Carolina said in the newspaper yesterday . . .

"Rosa sat, so Martin could walk . . . Martin walked, so Obama could run . . . Obama ran, so our children could fly."

Yes they did. Yes we can.

God Bless America.

A 21 lipstick salute to "Sully" my hero . . .

Tomorrow I will think about and celebrate and write about The Hero that everyone in the nation is cheering toward the starting line . . . but for today . . .

SULLY, it's hats off, my wings at salute and a big wet smackeroo from this little old ex-flight attendant!

HONEY!!! You did everything right!!! Yeah maybe you forgot to hit that button for water ditchings but that was AFTER you avoided crashing into NYC's forest of buildings,in a city still grieving the loss of its two tallest towers: AFTER you realized that turning back toward LaGuardia or forward to Teeterborough wasn't an option and you had about five seconds to decide what was; AFTER you avoided hitting the George Washington Bridge and a handful of others; AFTER with one engine gone and the other on fire you dropped that big baby down into the water with Yes, a sizable splash and with Yes, everyone on board A-OK!!

Your co-pilot standing on the wing beside you a few minutes later put it more simply and eloquently than anyone else, including me, ever could.

"Hey Sully, nobody's ever done this before," he said.

That's right Sully, nobody had. 

A new year's gift to you from me . . .

Your MAP for 2009!

 

     Arrive at the destination You choose by Dec 31, 2009!

 

 

Make a list of your past milestones, accomplishments & future plans.

 

Milestones in 2008 . . .

    Key turning points & Happenings of Major Significance

Examples –

-         Reaching a certain age

-         A life changing feat – accomplishing something you’ve always dreamed of or feared

-         Major breakthroughs of any sort

-         Beginning/ending a marriage/partnership

 

Accomplishments in 2008 . . .

    The goals you hit; challenges met: the times you enjoyed most/felt most alive!

Examples –

-         Vacation/trips

-         Meeting a professional or personal goal

-         Starting a new business

-         A new creative or intellectual interest or achievement

 

Plan for 2009 . . .

On December 31, 2009, exactly

     What do you want to have accomplished?

         Who do you want to have been/become? 

             What do you want to have added to your life? 

                  What do you want to have subtracted?

  

-         Personally - including emotionally & spiritually

-         Physically

-         Creatively

-         Professionally

-         Quality of life – including lifestyle, environment, social interactions

 

1) List exactly what you want in each area of your life.

 

2) Detail the steps that each goal will take to accomplish.

Ex – Eat more healthily. Starting at 2 servings of veg/fruits a day,I build to 5

 

3) Put tools in place to support yourself, especially if you’ve set this goal previously.

Ex – Eat more healthily.  Keep a diary of veg/fruit servings consumed daily.

 

 

Make your journey from Jan 1 to Dec 31 even more fun & effective-

 

 

-         Have fun making your map! Be curious about what you really want.  (Subtract all shoulds!) Spend more time with the fun parts of your plan – creativity and quality of life, for instance, than you normally would.

 

-         Make a collage, painting or some other art form that expresses or tells the story of this new year.

 

-         Set and write out your intentions for the day, week or month.  A journal or morning pages is a great place to do this.

 

-         Pick a theme or motto for the year.

 

-         Check in on / reread your plan either weekly or monthly.  Fine-tune as needed. 

 

-         Break any larger goal into baby steps so you won’t go into overwhelm, then hold yourself accountable via completion dates.

 

-         Read books that will support you in your journey. My current favorites are

 

A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle

The Joy Diet by Martha Beck

Loving What Is by Byron Katie

Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach

How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It

    By Patricia Love and Steven Stosny

No Time To Lose by Pema Chodron

The Art of Living by Epictetus (Edited by Lebell)

 

  Have a fabulous 2009!

     And if you’d like any personal (life coaching) assistance  in creating it – please check out my website www.ejgore.com for info and /or email me at ej_gore@hotmail.com for a free, no obligation chat/question session about coaching and how you might benefit from it!

 

First Quarter 2009 “Bailout” special coaching packages now available!

God bless America . . .

It is midnight in Utah and I'm about to fall into bed and then rise early tomorrow to leave for Texas but I just must say how heartened and inspired and amazed I am by Obama's election.

As he said himself in his acceptance speech - it's really not about him - it's about all of us - the candle of hope he lights in each of us for our country - and for the world.

Surfing through the TV channels tonight I saw streets full of celebration from Chicago to Times Square to Kenya as though it was New Year's!

But then I guess it is a new year . . . a time for America to remember who it really is again . . . and always will be.

God bless America,

God bless our new president.

Barack Obama

Passing the torch . . . until it's time to pick it up again

Last Sunday morning my friend Barb and I jumped up and down in our motel room in Cortez Colorado as Colin Powell endorsed Barack Obama!  (He also soundly put the McShame/Palin campaign in their place which made me love him even more.)  To hear a devout old Republican soldier and FFB (former friend of Bush) take a stand for the man we were spending our weekend campaigning for was sweeter than hot syrup on pancakes!

We then went took ourselves to Pippo's, ate a huge celebratory breakfast and started up one street and down another knocking on doors.  It was a beautiful autumn day and many people were not home but we had a few fascinating conversations.  Some people were still undecided, still carefully gathering information, asking questions, pondering how they would spend their vote - because that is exactly what it is like for people in swing states like Colorado - their one vote is as precious as gold, its worth rising daily for the next two weeks.

One of the wonderful things about this election (which at this point does feel as though it has been going on for most of my adult life) is how seriously people are taking it, the huge increase in registrations, the understanding that this next president will change our lives - for better or worse.

Something else I've loved seeing is the youth and vigor of Obama's campaign.  True, we voluteers were of all ages, but the Obama coordinators and leaders I've worked with have been young enough to be my children (had I had any) - and they are just like the kind of children I would have hoped to have had - passionate, intelligent, energetic, working hard to do the right thing. 

I've not gotten anywhere near my thousand call goal for Obama.  But I did get close to 400, went to Colorado twice (Barb and I canvassed in Grand Junction two weeks ago) and feel good about my work in the Nevada caucus last February (I'll never forget pleading with two undecideds in the room who thought they were for Obama over Clinton but weren't quite sure - "just help us get this far" - and they did.)

For now I'm passing the torch - to those "kids" I mentioned - and to anyone else who hasn't taken a turn at it - and feels called to get the vote out for the best man for America. 

Barack Obama got me to do something no one else, not even John Kennedy, got me to do in my whole life - work hard for the man who should be president.  That's another thing I'm grateful to him for.

Yes, for now I'm passing the torch . . . but in these last few days, should I feel the flame is dimming, I'll pick it up again . . . and will be ready to take it up for good in January.

One call at a time . . . 'til I get to a thousand!

(Warning: This entry includes OVERUSE OF ALL CAPS.)

I suspect, I hope anyway, that I'm preaching to the choir when I write that I have never been more DISGUSTED in my life with anyone politically, okay - except for George Bush, okay except for Richard Nixon - oh never mind - than I am with John McSHAME. 

The only thing worse than trying to use a national economic catastrophe to further your political interests by parachuting into Washington to "save the day" and bringing things to a screeching damn halt - is this IDIOTGIRL PALIN, that McSHAME has put America at the very real risk of having as President - a walking gimmick as opposed to a qualified woman (like Christine Todd Whitman, Olympia Snow, etc.)- a woman so stupid that her interviews don't have to be re written in order to be parodied by Tina Fey on SNL, just repeated - word for word! I kid you not!

If for some reason, ANYONE reading this doubts how very possible it is that this Twitt might be president, please note that McSHAME has REFUSED to release his medical records.  (It's beyond me why the government doesn't require it.)  As a melanoma survivor (8 years ago) I can verify that each time there is a relapse (he's had THREE!) your chances increase significantly of being killed by it.  Oh, and he's also the oldest damn man who's ever inched his walker toward the Oval Office as well!

Okay, thanks for letting me share, as we used to say in the 60's.  A little ranting once in a while is good for the soul.

But out of darkness can always come light.  And the light for me came yesterday when I finally decided to GET BACK ON THE PHONE FOR OBAMA - WHO I WOULD STILL BELIEVE IN AS THE BEST MAN, THE BEST PRESIDENT, THE BEST LEADER - Even if - Palin actually could speak an intelligent sentence or McSHAME care more for the country than he does himself.

I have already sent out emails begging EVERYONE IN THE UNIVERSE to make just one phone call, get just one vote on Obama's behalf, but I've decided to set the bar for myself super high - not the kind of bar I will later hang myself on - but one I can work and aspire toward - one that will make me sure that I personally have done everything possible to get Obama elected.

Starting yesterday, I began working myself toward the goal of one thousand calls on behalf of the O-Man!!  Yep, the Texan in me is showing, we always do believe we can hit a gusher or climb a mountain barefoot.

Yesterday I made 35 calls, but many of them were disconnected, etc - I did manage to snare 2 votes, however!  And I figure that the disconnects I reached saved another volunteer from wasting their time.  www.mybarackobama.com has a super easy to use phone bank (hint, hint) which has you press a button to show the response you got, whether a phone was working, etc etc - that way volunteers don't keep calling the same people again and again.

I don't know if I'll make my thousand or not, but By God (And Country) I'll try to be on the phone everyday from now until election day! 

The reason I'm blogging about this is to help me hold myself accountable - to not go back on the tough promise I've made to myself - and now - to you as well.  Anyone who reads this can act as my witness. And I'll give call counts from time to time to tell you how things are going.

So!  Here I go - as far as I can go!

And yes, I admit it barefaced (as we say back in Fort Worth) I hope this might inspire you to go along on the ride with me -  for just a call or two!

September 11 . . . I remember you, Deb . . .

I didn’t know until months later that you were one of the United crew on Flight 93 . . . ours was one of those beloved but inactive friendships that one always means to stay in touch with, but we hadn’t spoken in a long while.

 

Watching the jets crash into the World Trade Towers again and again on television that day,  I cleaned out my kitchen cabinets because I couldn’t stand to sit still and watch and hear what was going on, but couldn’t stop watching and hearing either. 

 

The announcer said that there was another flight somewhere, also thought to be part of the terrorists’ plot, destination unknown.  I remember crying and praying for the people on board, praying for the crew.  Not knowing you were purser on the flight.

 

I remember you Debbie Jacobs Walsh. 

 

I remember your laughter and silliness and huge heart.  I remember the spiritual journey the two of us shared.

 

Flight attendants for Eastern Airlines, we met working a flight together.  I was still heartsick over my recent divorce and reading a magazine, saw an advertisement for an “Interspecies Communication” (people and whales communicating) workshop on Maui.  I decided right then and there to go.  You decided right then and there to go with me.

 

Little did we know that the trip would turn into a once in a lifetime spiritual journey when, hanging out in Maui, we encountered Elena DeJoya, an amazing teacher.  We listened to her wisdom as we traveled around the still largely unsettled and beautiful island of the 70's.

 

A month later we went to Berkeley to Elena's ashram for a weeklong spiritual intensive.  In my case it immediately impacted the plans I'd made to move to Miami, ultimately changing the rest of my life's direction.  It deeply affected you as well.

 

But it was not all serious with us.  You and I loved to laugh and dance and drink cocktails.  I sometimes laid over in NYC during a trip and would go to your tiny, charming apartment in the Village.

 

The years wore on, we kept in touch (you launched an acting career and got a bit part in a movie, I moved to Key West) then somehow we lost touch.

 

It was months later after 93 crashed on Sept 11^th before I knew you were on it. 

 

There is not a doubt in my mind that your loving and positive energy had an impact on the choices that were made on 93 and the courage of the passengers to do what they did.

 

Deb, you were one of my heroes all your life and remain one forever in my heart.

 

I remember you Deb, sweetheart.    

 

Rest – Shine – in peace.